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One-Eighty

Jul 12, 2017 | By: Nancy Center

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Some rarified folks arrive in adulthood still believing interior design/dolphin training/product photography is a viable career choice. But most of us along the way, decide we need to be practical. So, we squeeze behind a cubical desk and daydream from 9:00-5:00 of stringing paperclips into a noose and wondering if a sprinkler head could support our bodyweight. Or maybe that's just me. 

A year ago last spring we were building a house, and my husband and I were each commuting 90 minutes a day, on different schedules, to and from our jobs at the same corporation. Since there was no time for anything extraneous, such as caring for our children or speaking to each other, I decided something had to give. The only thing I could see to cut was the photography business I ran on the weekends. So, I began to prayerfully consider closing my doors and fully committing to my soul-crushing day job. My decision was pretty much made, since too many things were slipping through the cracks: doctors appointments were being missed, family believed me to be dead or missing... I've always believed you really can do it all, you just have to sleep less or play less or contribute less. It's shameful, now, to see that in print. 

Fortunately, I finally realized there was no amount of "less" to give. So I spent a few weeks of focused prayer, expecting in the end to shut the doors of my photography business. And in the meantime, we continued to build this house, making changes where we saw fit, changing the Amityville Horror windows to squares, trading a closet for the world's smallest bathroom, and modifying the back porch into a sunroom. It was here, in the sunroom, amidst the sawdust and drywall, that my eyes and mind were opened to the realization: I had unwittingly built the perfect lightbox. It was a soul-stirring moment, and I felt as if God were turning me 180 degrees from the path where my own wisdom was leading me. 

It was such a point of clarity amidst the noise that I spent the next year following the path as it emerged, one step at a time. It was an awe-inspiring moment, which thankfully, caused me to remember and obey, although more dutifully than joyfully. I believed God would reward the response, but also considered Him to be rather slow, according to my fast-food American-style timeline. I thought in the end i may get fries with that, but wasn't sure I'd have teeth left to chew them. 

In January, in the spirit of All Things New and Improved, business goals were added to the calendar. If God wants me to do this, then I should DO THIS. Dates were predicted that high school seniors should start knocking on my door and Friday, June 2, was determined to be the day I'd begin running this business full time. Then using my mad math skills, I counted backwards 14 days and circled May 19 on my calendar as the day I'd give my 2-week notice. These were all very lofty goals - and they all came directly from me. 

As Winter warmed into Spring, my feet began getting cold. The pressure of a looming goal and the thought of giving up a steady salary caused me to think twice about my too-big goal...God didn't actually tell me to quit my day job...He just guided me to keep taking pictures...so, I scratched out the goals on my calendar and decided the timing wasn't right. Who knows how long God will take to do...whatever it is He's doing here. 

As it turns out, His timing was a week faster than mine, and I think the roadblock was me. My full-time employer was busy making sweeping changes, which were straining employee relations and badly damaging morale. So much so that I stopped my car 2 days in a row on the way to work and pulled over to pray. I called my boss both days and told him to mark me absent, something that's frowned upon everywhere, but was grounds for termination there. 

And then I just prayed. All day, both days. I called my husband, asked him to pray and give his opinion of me quitting the day job and running this photography business for real. And he gave me his blessing. 

I asked my friends to pray and texted every prayer warrior I knew and asked them to do the same. 

Finally, I asked my parents to pray. For once I didn't consider myself too busy to spend time with them and went to their house for advice. I've always been headstrong and independent to a fault. Why it took me 46-years to humbly seek their counsel is inexplicable to me now. My dad looked me in the eye and said, "I know you can do this. We believe in you, baby. You're braver than I am, but I think you can do it." My strong mother, who is being robbed by dementia, was remarkably present and clear that day: "We're so proud of you, darling, and if you're not happy with what you're doing, then yeah! Change it. Life's too short." This was not the advice I grew up hearing, and maybe it was because I'd never really listened before...I kept waiting for someone to say NO. For my supportive husband to say, we can't give up half of our salary, for friends to say, WHAT. THE HECK. For my parents to say we could lose the house we just built. 

Everyone prayed. Everyone supported. Everyone received peace, including me. 

So, I gave my notice to corporate America, a week and a half ahead of my original schedule. And I realized, maybe it's not God who was slow in this after all. Thankfully He showed more patience and faith with me than I did with Him. I'm trying to listen more now and trying desperately to keep the seeking posture that got me here. I'm starting to dream again, too, and realizing that it's enough for some of our dream jobs as kids to be lifelong hobbies. I'll probably always decorate my space just for fun...It looks like I'll be taking pictures for food. And secretly...dolphin training is going back onto the list just in case... 

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12 Comments

Jul 30, 2017 10:47:53 PM

Nancy Center - Tiffini - you've given me chills! We've been traveling and i'm sorry to have somehow completely missed your amazing comment -- BUT your note came at a perfect time for me, too. Thank you so much for your openness. I feel for you with your job situation and understand. It can be so damaging.

You have always had a great eye, and it sounds like this is something you're being led to do. I know what a hard worker you are, how dedicated, conscientious and resourceful you are, and I've seen your photo work.

You can do this.

And i'll gladly help you. I'm going to have a photo seminar soon, and am putting you first on the list!

Jul 30, 2017 10:39:45 PM

Nancy Center - Abby, that means a lot coming from one of my favorite writers. Thank you so much!

Jul 30, 2017 10:38:30 PM

Nancy Center - Cynthia - that means so much. You inspire me, too. Love you, friend.

Jul 14, 2017 11:49:33 PM

Tiffini florian - Nancy,

As you know I am always a straight shooter but never show emotional weakness so this is hard but I feel it is needed.

I have to admit over the past couple of days I have seen your blog post but just didn't have time, but tonight at 12:30 am sick an so tired I can't even think but something guided me to stop an to read an I am literally typing this with tears streaming down my face an the reason is I am struggling with my job an not being happy an feeling lost I actually have been talking to God a lot about being lost an unhappy "maybe even yelling on my porch at one am of God please just guide me, give me a sign anything!" so I have really been feeling the pull to take some classes with my camera an learn because I am happy behind it an during this time people have been making comments out of no where about photos I have taken an asking me to take a few, but still as life goes I don't have time to do it, I find myself making up reasons, then bam your blog hits home an is inspiring more than you will ever know. I may ask for help along the way , but please pray for me to find the courage an knowledge to take the leap an go for what I love an Nancy thank you I know you wrote this for many to read but I swear it felt like God had you blogging this for me! He truly has a way ! Also as I am typing this I am looking at the picture you took of Sydney during that time of remodel an I am inspired to listen to the man up stairs! Much love!!

Jul 13, 2017 2:53:17 PM

Abby - I LOVE this and you!!! You are amazing!

Jul 13, 2017 12:54:19 PM

Cynthia - I am so excited for your future!..You are an incredible photographer and an even more amazing woman!! You inspire me So much...Chase after the dreams God has given to you!

Jul 13, 2017 9:18:27 AM

Nancy Center - Angel, you can rule the world if given enough fair trade coffee. i can't wait to see what you do !!

Jul 13, 2017 9:15:34 AM

Nancy Center - Thank you so much for that, Bonnie! That was a great day. Looking forward to seeing y'all again in August!

Jul 13, 2017 9:12:34 AM

Nancy Center - Thank you so much for your support and your business, Beccy! You and Mark have done such a beautiful job with your girls and i love seeing them succeed!

Jul 13, 2017 8:20:47 AM

Beccy Jackson - Nancy,
I love it!!! I am so glad that you took the plunge and are spending your precious time doing something that you love!! A true inspiration to all of us!! We keep telling our kids, "If you do something that you love for work, it will not feel like work!" If we could all be as brave as you!!!
You are a wonderful photographer and we know first hand. I look at your beautiful pictures of Virginia everyday! All the best with your business, I know you will be a success!!!

Jul 13, 2017 7:13:48 AM

Angel ersoy - Love this! As an employee at a paper clip place/cubicle farm, most days I leave asking God if there's more. I'm so glad God has opened this door for you and wish you the best.

Jul 13, 2017 6:54:13 AM

Bonnie Blaylock - Bravo!! Bravo!! For the blog & the decision & stepping out in faith! Your pics are my favorite family photos. Can't wait for our appt coming up. Good for you, Nancy!

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